Too often men I advise fall back on numerous crutches–“I’m a shy guy”, “I’m introverted”, “I have Asperger’s”, “I don’t like to make eye contact”, “I don’t like working out” … as excuses for their lack of success and seek a path of least resistance to get the women of their dreams anyway–a path that involves trying to work around these faults, crutches and (often self imposed) limitations.
Some fall into an even worse cycle of bitterness and anger–judging women for not accepting their flaws and questioning why they have to “change who they are” to be successful with women. (Never mind that these same people will have no problem suggesting that a woman change her behavior, appearance, go to the gym, etc.)
If you’re reading this, there’s a chance you fall into this same pattern as well. And I will tell you the same thing I tell them: “Your Faults Are Your Own”.
I hate to break it to you, but no woman cares if you’re shy or if you think you have Asperger’s or if you don’t like making eye contact. No woman, especially one you just met or haven’t even met yet is going to date you, be intimate with you, or fall in love with you out of pity. No one woman is going to ignore your faults, regardless of whose fault they actually are.
There are certain attributes and behaviors that are almost universally attractive, such as being confident, assertive, and making eye contact. If you do not exhibit these behaviors, for whatever reason, you will be less successful with women than you could be. This means, as hard as it is, you have to change your behaviors, or if for some reason you literally cannot exhibit behaviors that are crucial to attraction, then you must compensate for these flaws in other ways.
For instance, if you think you’re autistic (chances are you actually are not autistic unless you’ve been diagnosed as such by a medical professional), that isn’t going to earn you any brownie points. Women aren’t going to lower their standards for you because of it. You will have to compensate for the social skills you lack with attributes you do have, or force yourself take the actions that you need to attract women even if they are uncomfortable.
If you can’t make eye contact, you need to force yourself to do it, or you will be less successful with women. It took me years for eye contact to become second nature for me–and it was uncomfortable at first, but I had to do it to achieve my dating goals.
What you cannot do is think for one second that any quality woman is going to simply ignore these faults. They will not. Not only that, but there’s a good chance that you don’t even have these limitations you think you have! And even if you do–again, your faults are your own. It does not matter.
If you want the hottest, smartest, cutest, most exciting and most successful women in your dating life, you need to do what it takes to attract the best irrespective of your flaws. Even if it makes you uncomfortable. Even if it’s hard. Even if you think you cannot do it. Because you can do it. As long as you can literally force your body to perform certain actions, and force your mouth to utter certain words in certain situations, you can be successful with women.
You can overcome your faults. But if you keep trying to work around them, expect others to ignore them, and make no effort to tackle them head on, then you will never see the success you can achieve. So stop looking for the windy path around your limitations, and start blasting through them!